By Dr. Don Dunlap
Pastoral Counselor
Many people do not know when their anger crosses the line of acceptable expression to become sinful.
Family Counseling Ministries -
We learn from God’s Word that the anger of man cannot
achieve the righteousness of God. God commands us to put off every kind of
anger, whether it is violent and explosive in nature, or sullen and seething in
its expression. The writer of Ecclesiastes 7:9 warns,
Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, for anger resides
in the bosom of fools.
In God’s perspective, an angry person is a fool.
We should not form an intimate friendship with someone who is
given to outbursts of anger.
Angry outbursts are deeds of the flesh and God condemns
them. We read in Proverbs 29:22, “An angry man stirs up strife, and a
hot-tempered man abounds in transgressions.” Again, in Proverbs 22:24-25 we
find a warning against forming a bond of friendship with a person who has a
problem with anger,
Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a
hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself.
A person who has an angry spirit should not be in a position
of church leadership.
In Titus 1:7 we read that God does not permit a person
with a quick temper to assume a position of church leadership: “For the
overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick
tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain.”
Christian leaders must demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in
their lives. An angry person who has been appointed to lead other people will
wrongly influence them because he or she will constantly be in trouble.
Many Christians do not know how to determine when their
anger crosses the line of acceptable expression and becomes sinful. Several
questions are helpful for someone who wishes to search his or her own heart, to
discern whether or not he or she is guilty of unbiblical anger.
When I am angry:
1.
Do I demonstrate unconditional biblical love to my
neighbor?
“A man of violence entices his neighbor and leads him in a
way that is not good.” Proverbs 16:29
2.
Do I use hurtful words that do not encourage or edify
other people?
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs
up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
3. Do I
have angry outbursts and am I quick-tempered?
“A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices
is hated.” Proverbs 14:17
4. Do I
seek vengeance or try to retaliate against my offender?
“A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his
glory to overlook a transgression.” Proverbs 19:11
5. Do I respond in a manner that is displeasing
to God and dishonoring to His name—unmercifully and without compassion?
“But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his
brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his brother,
‘Raca,’ shall be guilty before the Supreme Court; and whoever shall say, ‘You
fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.” Matthew 5:22
6. Do
I fail to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in my thoughts, words and
actions?
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he
who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” Proverbs 16:32
Someone who sincerely intends to overcome the sin habit of
unbridled anger should help himself win the war by committing God’s Word to
memory.
An excellent strategy for overcoming the temptation to be
sinfully angry is to memorize the six scripture verses listed above. It is
helpful to quote these verses aloud in the midst of a temptation to respond
angrily to a person or a situation.
Dr. Don
Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral Counselors in the offices of
Christian physicians, has conducted over twenty thousand appointments during
his ministerial career. His counseling practice includes adults, children and
families in crisis. Dr. Dunlap is committed to facilitating a network of telephone
counselors. His goal is to provide help for the many people unable to meet face
to face with a competent Bible-based counselor. For a complete library of Dr.
Dunlap’s articles, indexed by topic, go to Family Counseling Ministries. You
may also make a telephone appointment for personal counseling by clicking on Family Counseling Ministries.
Family Counseling Ministries is a Christianity.com
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